Our lives have some semblance of balance and consistency. We are thriving in our homes, relationships, and careers. We think we have everything under control, and then seemingly in the blink of an eye everything is thrown upside down into chaos we cannot prevent.
Sometimes seasons of chaos are the result of happy circumstances like the birth of a child, a promotion at work, moving to a new home, or even marriage. We are better able to manage the chaos because it’s worth the end gain.
Other times, seasons of chaos are the result of less positive circumstances that are out of our control, like the death of someone we love, a close friend moving away, a move we didn’t expect or want, illness, the end of a relationship, or even betrayal. Maybe we didn’t see it coming or weren’t quite as prepared as we thought we would be.
Try as we may, not one of us can avoid every chaotic season of life. They happen to everyone and we basically have two options: 1.) make the most of it, or 2.) panic, shut down, and merely survive.
In either case, chaos brings stress and stress limits us in all kinds of ways. While I can’t tell you how to eliminate the chaos in your life, I can share how I have recently coped with chaos induced stress. I would dare say these tips helped me win at keeping my top priorities in check and giving myself to the things and people that mattered most.
How to win during seasons of chaos
Tip #1 – Focus on your highest priorities
It’s so incredibly important to remember your top priorities when life is crazy. Who are the most important people in your life? What responsibilities must your see to each day? Everything else will have to take a back seat until this season is over.
And that’s okay.
I prioritize my life in a mental list:
- God
- Marriage
- Family
- Friends
- Work…etc
When I find myself in a season of chaos, those top three stick, and I have to temporarily let go of the rest. I just can’t keep up with everything all the time. I may call less frequently and be available for lunch or coffee less often, but I’m still here. Working through this season.
We have to remember our limits during seasons of chaos, otherwise we will find ourselves completely overwhelmed and incapacitated.
Tip #2 – Take on every issue one at a time
Don’t try to solve every problem all at once. It would be nice if that was possible, but alas, it is not. Being distracted while solving problems is a recipe for disaster. I would encourage you to, as best you can, focus on one thing at a time. Make other things wait.
You can either do a lot of things mediocre, or do one thing well. Shoot for doing one thing well. And when you’re done, or you can take a break, do something else well.
It’s a simple concept, but tough to practice.
Tip #3 – Let go of the things you cannot control
Have you ever brought undue stress on yourself because you tried to control things that are beyond you? I recently did this when we put our house on the market. I decluttered, staged, and cleaned like a boss, but when it came time to list the house I suddenly found myself groping for control over the situation. And guess what you cannot control – the real estate market!
As much as I didn’t like the idea of keeping the house just right and always being on my toes in case someone called to look at the house, that was all I could contribute. I turned my attention to other things and reminded myself constantly that I don’t have to be in control over everything. And just so you know, everything worked out amazingly. We got a contract on our house within 48 hours of listing it and are moving forward.
Letting go of control is actually very freeing. However it looks for you, practice letting go of the things you can’t force like timing, other people, and illness. We gain nothing from obsessing over our situation. We gain sanity, peace of mind, and clarity be letting go.
Tip #4 – Stay Organized
I don’t know about you, but I am not the kind of girl who can fly by the seat of my pants for long. I don’t do willy nilly very well. Planning head gives me peace of mind, even if all my plans don’t come to fruition. To rely on my memory alone during seasons of chaos is to doom myself to failure.
While that might sound a little dramatic, it’s true. It’s impossible to remember every single commitment when there is so much going on around me. That’s why I recommend staying organized and planning ahead as best you can.
If you have an upcoming move, change in careers, baby on the way, or other major life change on the horizon, plan out the months leading up to it as much as you can. Will you plans all work out perfectly? Probably not, however mapping out commitments, obligations, and your family’s schedule will let you know what, if anything, else you can take on and what you need to say no to for now.
For instance, my family is moving to our remodeled farmhouse at the beginning of May. I have mapped out our commitments between now and then including achievement testing dates for my kids, the t-ball schedule, guitar lessons, blog deadlines, church events, baby showers, holidays and birthdays. Now I can see that because of our limited availability I know I need to be cautious about volunteering for additional events or inviting people over for dinner.
Planning ahead helps me tame the chaos to some degree. Do I know the timeline of every single thing coming up? No, no I don’t. But the things I do know about are on my calendar and I can plan around them.
Tip #5 – Take breaks and take care of yourself
Don’t be fooled into thinking that self care is selfish. Think of it as rest. Taking an hour every day for a bubble bath, reading a book, a nap, a tv show, or to listen to music or a podcast are all examples of healthy ways to take a break. We always make time for what’s most important and self care must be a priority, especially when chaos abounds.
I know taking an hour for yourself might seem tough, or outrageous even, but you will be so much more productive having taken a few minutes for yourself. Take a break from the situation for a little while, and give your emotions, body and mind a chance to unwind.
I am always pleasantly surprised at how rest gives me fresh eyes and a boost in my morale.
Tip #6 – Pray your face off
I know this isn’t technically a “Christian” blog, but if you are a follower of Jesus, I would encourage you to pray without ceasing in seasons of chaos. He is our hope and stay, and I would be lying if I said I survived any season of chaos outside of the grace of God. There are many occasions I can recall when I was done emotionally, mentally, and physically, yet I made it out alive on His strength and the Truth of His Word.
Be encouraged also, that whatever is going on in your life God saw it coming. He is never surprised, and he will equip us for each moment of every day.
Whether we tend to go with the flow or we prefer to think we have everything under control, seasons of chaos demand a response from us. And they quickly show us what we are made of, what our character really looks like, and how well we adapt.
However, while these seasons are not always welcome, they don’t have to dictate how we live our lives. If we can learn how to walk through crazy seasons intentionally, I think we will fare better in them, and come out wiser and stronger on the other side.
How do you find yourself dealing with seasons of chaos? How do you stay sane? Tell me in the comments!
