We all need encouragement from time to time. It’s easy to recognize that need in ourselves, but are we as quick to notice the need for encouragement in others?
Maybe you are, but it’s definitely something I struggle with on the day to day. I often get my head down and focused on my personal business, and miss opportunities to minister to other people – people I care about!
Good or bad, the efforts we make to invest in relationships say a lot about how much we value those relationships. If we only take, take, take, are we really being a friend at all? Or are we a sort of life suck to the people around us?
These questions may seem a little harsh, but it’s important to be honest with ourselves.
Love Languages Say More Than We Realize
Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts – these are terms we may know as love languages thanks to Gary Chapman’s book, TheĀ 5 Love Languages. According to Mr. Chapman we are all wired to receive love best through certain communication styles.
After talking with several friends about how they best receive encouragement, I have found that there is a close correlation between the way we receive love and the way we receive encouragement.
It’s quite possible you already know how you best receive encouragement, but what about the people you love most? Or the people you do life with most?
How do they receive encouragement best? Stop and think about this for a minute: How would your friendships and relationships look if you took the time to shift your focus to others, and encourage someone everyday of the month. It doesn’t have to take up a lot of time. The amount of time you put into it is totally up to you.
But come on, who wouldn’t want to randomly receive a text message from a friend that said, “You are a great mom,” or “your friendship means a lot to me.”
Encouragement doesn’t have to be complicated
Maybe our struggle to encourage others comes from more of a lack of know-how than the desire to do it.
We get ourselves worked up because we think encouragement involves an eloquent speech or lengthy letter, but that’s not true. A short text to let someone know we are thinking about them can make a world of difference to someone who needs some encouragement today.
Don’t overthink it. That will only get you missed opportunities and regret. Plus, overthinking how we communicate encouragement to others puts the focus on us instead of the person we are aiming to encourage.
Encouraging others is less about being a perfect communicator and more about being intentional and proactive.
That’s why I want to show you 31 ways we can encourage others. There just happens to be enough on this list for one month’s worth of encouragement. This may or may not have been planned….but either way, I think you will see that when we focus on encouraging others, our friendships and relationships flourish, and who doesn’t want that?!
31 Ways to Encourage Someone
- Tell them what they are good at.
- Give them the nudge the need to start something new.
- Tell them how they have impacted a specific part of your life.
- Remind them you are here for them.
- Tell them why you are friends with them.
- Give them a boost of confidence.
- Tell the why they make you smile.
- Share scripture that reminds you of them.
- Tell them how they impact others.
- Pray for them and let them know it.
- Tell them what makes them good at their job.
- Support them in new endeavors.
- Offer a trustworthy listening ear when they need to talk.
- Tell them what makes them a good parent.
- Let them know they are doing a good job during a stressful or trying season in life.
- Ask them how they are doing.
- Tell them how they are gifted.
- Celebrate their wins with them.
- Spend time with them.
- Help them problem solve in a difficult situation.
- Laugh with them.
- Share a meal with them.
- Call or write a note to them on a day you know if difficult for them.
- Express your gratitude for them.
- Remind them they are a joy.
- Tell them you are glad to have them in your life.
- Take them a meal if they need help.
- Offer to watch their kids if/when they need help.
- Surprise them with a treat like a donut, coffee, flowers, or cupcake (all things I would personally welcome).
- Call just to chat.
- Send a text with a humorous message, gif file, or video.
To get your own copy of this list to save to your phone or print, clickĀ HERE.
It’s all about the give and take
For the record, it’s not wrong to ask for encouragement or receive it yourself. Just keep in mind that there are simple ways we can encourage others on a daily basis. It’s part of living in community, and sharing our lives with other people.
As we encourage people we care about they will know they are loved and cherished. They will in turn be inspired to encourage the people in their lives. This is what living in community with others should look like.
The following quote is by the late Billy Graham. I think it applies perfectly to how we should view encouragement. We all need it, and we all need to give it.
What additional ways have you found to encourage those around you? How do you best receive encouragement? Let me know in the comments!